STEMS OF HABITS – Decisiveness
Having chosen high functionality, to settle and not go further is akin to buying an iron because you saw an ad on how that appliance can make you look smart, approachable and respected but if you never use the iron you still go out in rumpled clothes! You’re never going to get the results for which you bought the iron; you’ll grumble and may even call the ad a big fat lie. Or imagine the effort and time wasted doing your laundry manually when you had a laundry machine at your disposal. You hear some folks say things like, “I wish I could be doing this or that,” “I wish I were as high functioning as that young lady,” but ask them what they have decided on based on their wishing, they’ve got no plan, no insight concerning what to do. You need to decide on the habits you want to keep. Unfortunately, there’s no easy pill. I cannot give you a narcotic or over the counter antibiotic because you are back for more in no time –we didn’t solve the problem that was causing the infection or the pain. Deciding the habit is in understanding, and that comes with knowledge, awareness and working through stuff.
When it comes down to the roles your mind has to play on your way to increased functionality; decisiveness is more or less the conclusion regarding the issue you have decided to deal with but just like your choice, your decisiveness has to be timely. Decisiveness is a habit you have to instill in your life. You can begin by practicing with small matters and gradually use the new skill on larger matters. Many times, what impedes us from being decisive is the risk attached to it, and the fear of regret. Regret is a painful emotion because you feel it was once within your scope to make a different decision which could have resulted in a different outcome. But you must be able to forgive yourself and direct your energy to the level of importance your decision has to your life. You must be able to realize that your decisions may not always be spot on and that you shouldn’t hesitate to make adjustments where modifications are needed, especially when you realize your original decision is not going to work out as you earlier thought. I have yet to find a strong-result oriented individual who’s not decisive.
When you are decisive, you can make decisions even in urgent situations; you can take a course of action even when you don’t have all the information; you also understand that indecisiveness has its consequences. Indecisiveness uses a tremendous amount of emotional energy that could have been channeled to getting you better. It is also important to note that decisiveness is different from impulsiveness; the major factor that differentiates the two is that you engage in careful thinking in being decisive and it’s not spontaneous.